Try and tell me that's not just straight up cell phone art.

Sloppy Joe-fu (tofu sloppy joes!)

Disclaimer: if you are gonna be a whiny baby and ignore this recipe because A – tofu “weirds you out,” B – you’re a meat-eater by trade…then you are missing out. I’m actually going to say this: if you make this and you DON’T like it, I’ll send you a handwritten apology. There it is.

• 2 pounds firm tofu
• 4 tbsp olive oil
• 1 minced green pepper
• 3 cloves of minced garlic
• 1/2 an onion, minced
• 1 minced seeded jalapeno (or spicy pepper of your choice)
• spice mix of your choice (I used Tony Chachere cajun seasoning because I love it!)
• heaping tbsp dijon mustard
• 2 cups water
• 1/2 cup ketchup
• 4 tsp apple cider vinegar
• 2 tbsp liquid aminos (it’s like soy sauce for the healthy!)
• 2 tbsp brown sugar
• Chipotle smoked Tabasco (game. changer.)
• salt and pepper to taste

Dice your veggies. Oil your skillet (I used cast iron) and put it on medium high. Place the onion and garlic in, sautee for five or so minutes or until the onion starts to look translucent. Add in the tofu, green pepper and jalapeno. Mash up the tofu (I’d recommend a metal spatula and some pressure, works the fastest!) Cook for ten minutes. Add in aminos, brown sugar, ketchup, mustard, Tabasco, apple cider vinegar, and water. Let it simmer for at least fifteen minutes. It’s gonna seem super liquidy, but it’s not! It’ll cook down. I served them up on whole wheat buns with a succotash side. So nice!

Whatever the hell is in your kitchen soup

If you haven’t made homemade soup, what are you waiting for!? It’s fall! It’s tasty! Yum! I’m putting the ingredients we had between Exhibit A’s fridge and my own. You can add whatever you like – I know someone else who adds whatever he likes to his soup:

• 16 ounce box vegetable stock (don’t get broth. Man up.)
• 1 zucchini, sliced
• 1 squash, sliced
• 1/2 onion, sliced
• fresh broccoli, diced
• 2 poblano peppers, sliced
• 1 habanero, sliced (we are insane and left the seeds in. IT. WAS. HOT.)
• 2 carrots, sliced
• 2 tomatoes, diced
• 3 tbsp brown sugar
• 3 tbsp ketchup
• 2 tsp cinnamon
• salt and pepper to taste
• Cholula to taste

Add everything to a pot and boil it. Simple, right?

The Ottoman Empire, a corn maze and so much tofu – what to do?

Since Halloween falls on a Monday, we, like every other twentysomething in the US, enjoyed the holiday over the weekend. Exhibit A has an addiction. It’s called laziness. But she likes to think of it as creativity. She likes the idea of wearing a cardboard box for Halloween every year and doing it differently. This year, a group of four of us went as the Ottoman Empire. As in we decorated cardboard boxes with terrible old drapes, wore crowns and carried swords. It was actually a hoot..but I digress.

We had quite a bit of fun on Saturday night, and that lead to a rough Sunday knowing we needed to eat extra tasty, filling food. Exhibit A works with kids, and we took them to a corn maze for her job Sunday afternoon. The corn maze was just pure mud because the snow from earlier this week had melted and made it just mush (oh, Colorado.) As we waited for the kids to get out of the maze, we discussed dinner. What to make? I remembered that I had two pounds of tofu that didn’t have too much longer of a shelf life, and that’s when decisions had to be made. Exhibit A’s got a killer recipe for veggie stir-fry that we made for a dinner party a couple of months ago, but we realized that’s all we revert to when it comes to tofu. She googled “easy tofu recipes” and we had to choose between stuffed shells and the sloppy joes. But, the link for the shells was broken, hence the second choice. We took the recipe and changed half of it to make it our own, and decided we’d make the soup using the massive amount of veggies we had between our homes.

Exhibit A made the soup and I rocked out on the sloppy joes. My two meat-eater roomies totally loved the fake-out of the sloppy joes. Honestly, we used a habanero for the soup and even my heat-seeking roomie B couldn’t handle it! We added the brown sugar, cinnamon, and ketchup last minute and also threw in a sliced potato to suck up the heat…turns out it was like ten times more delicious and fall-tasting!

Just ate the leftover sloppy joes for lunch, and they’re even better than yesterday. Honestly, this meal screamed fall and tasted so great. We had Hibernation Ale with it (Odells) and it was the perfect compliment. Nutty and malty and delicious.

Make this. Enjoy it.

• being in a new relationship and
• cooking tons of new food

These things are imperatively linked and you need to know it because:

• this relationship is badass and
• I cook food for this person

First things first: the new job is at a nonprofit that I’ve been involved with for a while and it’s temporarily paid through this month. Then I go back to volunteering with them. But I love them so much that I laugh at the thought of working for them. Ideally, I’ll go to grad school and get a degree then get to work for a NP that’s half as great as they are. That’s all on that front.

The new relationship is a blast! We’ll call this person Exhibit A. Because that is what came to my mind. And I am a woman of ideas, and saying things like “Exhibit A and I ________. It was great” sounds like a scientific crime scene.

Exhibit A and I have been friends for a while, so the relationship part is super fun. Exhibit A is also (pause for dramatic effect) a dog owner. And a grad student. And a female. And shorter than I am.

Did I pause at the wrong spot? My apologies. Well. Y’all can mull on that one for a while and I’ll tell you how food ties in to all of these crazy shenanigans.

I cook a lot. I think most people know that about me, no? Luckily for me, Exhibit A loves to cook and eat just about as much as I do (but has a little more restraint on getting seconds…jealous). I have been living my life in an attempt to be like Chocolat (which is slightly in homage to…let’s call it Before Exhibit A, which was the last time I watched that film while dating someone else and experiencing it in a different way) – experiencing my food and how its passion can render itself useful to what I’m doing.

I put a lot of love into my cooking and food as well as my relationships, so the past couple of months have been a total whirlwind of very strong emotions for me.  And so, without further ado, let me present you with

• one of my favorite recipes and
• great life experiences from the past two months that tie in with the food

Exhibit A’s enchiladas:

• 1 zucchini
• 1 yellow squash
• 1 broccoli stalk
• small red onion
• two tomatoes
• Muenster cheese
• Goat cheese
• medium-sized jar chipotle salsa
• Flour tortillas

Preheat oven to 400. Dice all veggies small (smaller than bite-sized). Mix well in a bowl. Place veggie mixture into tortillas and top with Muenster cheese. Wrap like a burrito, then place in 9×13 baking dish. Cover wraps with salsa fully. Bake for 25 minutes. Immediately upon removal of dish, top with dollops of goat cheese. Eat, cry because it tastes so good, eat more and don’t even feel guilty about it.

The story of how I came to eat these for the first time:

• eating a usual grilled cheese at Mountain Sun
• reading an ad in Westword
• The Wood Brothers
• a gorgeous guitar
• beautiful songs

Exhibit A and I were spending a lovely afternoon in Boulder eating our usual order of grilled cheeses (mine with pesto and tomatoes, Exhibit A’s with avocado and tomato) and she looks in her copy of Westword and sees that the Wood Brothers are coming and we can in fact see them for free.

Disclaimer: If you don’t know who the Wood Brothers are, we aren’t friends. But actually you should know them, so cheers:

So. I pound on the table for dramatic emphasis (like I do) and yell in delight! I get to see this amazing band…for free…two blocks from Exhibit A’s house?! Yes please! The day arrives, and we even have some people from NCCC joining. We show up at the venue and it’s a little odd…nobody’s there looking like they wanna see a concert. We go back to the front and read the date. It happened the day before.

I roam around the record store, pretty severely depressed (like I do) and Exhibit A is not blind. She sees my pain. She then says “I’ll make up for it…don’t worry. We’ll go to the store and get food and I’ll make you my super tasty enchiladas and give you a private concert.” My spirits lighten.

We go to the store and pick out all the food, walk back, and I start helping make the enchiladas. Then, while they bake, I get my private concert. Exhibit A is a songwriter and sang me her songs while playing along on her badass guitar. By the end, I’m so happy and full of warmth and vegetables and adorable songs that I forget I missed the Wood Brothers entirely.

That’s all for now, folks. I’ll possibly do another one when I can. Make the enchiladas, they’re a game changer.

Pop open your laptop, located conveniently next to you in bed (where it keeps you toasty warm at night, loading up emails for you to respond to, of course.) Check your Gmail casually, but really head onto Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr to see what your distant once-friends were doing between the hours of midnight and 8 a.m.. Judge them. Recollect on what you did last night. Stare at the red glare of the Netflix glow coming from your screen that reminds you that you watched four episodes in a row of Parks & Rec. Stop judging them.

Mosey to the kitchen. Make tea. Stare at computer with anger. Stare at teapot with love. Make that tea like it’s your only friend. Savor the shit out of it. Care a little too much about how long you let it steep for (and get annoyed that you even care suddenly).

Take your tea back to your computer. Begin reading, sorting, and responding to emails. Realize that an hour has passed and your tea is less than lukewarm, and that crap is all settled in the bottom. Get up and re-make tea, unplug the laptop and bring it out to your living room (aka “office space.”) Turn on the TV, talk with your roommate, pet your dog and cat, and overall ignore work for a few moments.

Log back on to see if there are email responses. Get annoyed when there are none. Gchat your friends who are in cubicles and can only respond when nobody sees. Laugh maniacally at the luxury you’re living. Realize it’s 2 p.m.. Take the dog for a really, really long walk. Come back. Check your email. Get really annoyed that there are none.

Write a blog entry about how silly your job seems. Question why you’re hungry, realize it’s that awkward post-lunch/pre-dinner thing. Gchat some more. Fold laundry. Apply chapstick. Set your laptop back up in bed. Think about your plans for the night. Remind yourself it’ll end in a Netflix coma.

Repeat.

I feel beautiful. I can be dripping sweat. I can smell like garbage, my hair can be a matted mess, and my skin can be bright red, and nothing has made me feel prettier.

I never thought I could. When my friends were pushing me around the lake in a wheelchair six years ago, I assumed that was it for me and my leg. Since training, I’ve felt no pain, but actual strength as the muscle forms around my scar tissue and I conquer the fear of putting pressure on my ankle. I feel so strong.

I like to push myself. There have been so many runs that I tell myself “you can quit after this mile,” and then when I finish it, I remind myself to run the mile I’m in. I repeat so many mantras: Pain is weakness leaving the body. Inhale confidence, exhale fear. The work makes the worth. This is what you came here for. Determination means no matter what. There’s only one way to the finish line.

I love the rest of my day when I finish a run. If I start my morning off with a run, I’m energized all day. Afternoon? Builds up a dinner appetite. Sun’s down? I’m down for a long, cool evening run. No matter when I start, I always finish happy, relaxed, rejuvenated and ready for what’s next.

Because I can. I can run, and I won’t ever allow myself to get back to that place. That dark place I was in for so long, without confidence and filled with self-doubt; a non-appreciation for what my body was capable of. I might not be built for a full marathon, but I’ll be damned if I allow myself to lose this. I can’t make my body do what it can’t, but my body won’t let me let my heart, mind, and soul down.

I have got the greatest apartment, the coolest new roommate, the best friends and the loveliest cat in all of the world.

I keep going back to this place, and it’s kind of dark and a little frightening. It’s the “where was I one year ago?” place. And it was just so different. I can’t stop getting a little panic in my heart and stomach. I think it’s because I am literally doing the opposite thing that I thought I’d be doing. I was less than a year off from marriage! I had a VISTA position in Whitewater, Wisconsin. I was comfortable with my plan: finish NCCC, move home and be a happy housewife. I just can’t believe how much I’ve changed.

I have said “oh, shit” about a thousand times in the past four days. Life is moving so fast around me and it’s just a total whirlwind of emotions, feelings, people I never saw in a certain light, promises, strength, panic and freedom. I keep closing my eyes and putting my hands over them because I feel like if I shake my head enough, I’ll wake up on my parent’s couch and all of this would just be a far-fetched dream.

I sit here in this beautifully furnished apartment (THANK YOU BRADLEE!) and look at the fantastic boys that I live with and the wonderful home they’ve turned our place into and I am in pure disbelief. Luckily, B feels the same way and I’m blessed to have a friend who is definitely just as lost as I am.

I just can’t stop thanking everyone. Every one of my friends in Wisconsin who didn’t bail on me for following my heart (and the ones who did, really, because I never needed you I suppose), B for convincing me I’d function fully on my own, the lovely people of Denver for smiling at me as I run past them, just about all the employees of Vine St. Pub for dealing with my constant shenanigans…I’m just in such a great place. And I couldn’t have been here without all of you.

On money:

• I still have none
• My large dependence on one has shifted to little dependence on many
• I spend it on frivolous things, but these things are hand-crafted, organic, and therefore more conscious choices
• I will soon have a paycheck, but half will go to rent
• I have very good friends and family who provide

On relationships (romantic and not so much):

• They are messy, even from far away
• I can only wait so long for a response
• My time in Wisconsin showed me who plans on making a permanent home in my heart
• I have no interest in dating in Denver but I definitely have a large interest in free meals
• I should probably go on dates
• I now have a bed, not a sleeping bag, so in case of emergency…

On living:

• Sleeping on a futon in a kitchen at age 19: fun, cool, normal
• Sleeping on a futon in a kitchen at age 24: fun, cool, not that normal but we make it work
• Sleeping on a futon in a kitchen at age 24 for more than a night: slightly nerve-wracking, annoying imposition, etc
• I want to have some real food, not sandwiches of many sorts

Hey. I think I’m gonna miss ya.

Twenty four years, man. That’s quite a while to spend with you. I did have that recent extended stay in a few other states, so leaving you shouldn’t be that traumatic.

Here I sit, in my parent’s house of six years, hanging on the balcony that I’ve learned to love in such a short period of time. I don’t have a strong connection to any certain home here, I’ve had so many. Coming from a divorce with parents that didn’t have a lot of money, moving around became a mainstay in my life. Maybe that’s why this doesn’t feel so terrifying. I don’t know. Maybe I’ve been toughened up a little bit more than I realize. Thanks.

Thanks for making me appreciate things. Good weather is a big’un. I appreciate sunshine, I adore a good rainfall, and truly, I love the outdoors because of you. I cannot stand the winter, which is probably why I’m leaving. Denver has a much milder winter. Sorry, but it’s the truth. Big turn on for me.

Thanks for giving me like-minded people. I was so appreciative when I left and met such diverse people, but now I’m back and I realize that maybe seeing things similarly isn’t all that bad. Wisconsinites love the same things: a good cheese and sausage platter, yummy IPA’s, holidays that last for days (Christmas is really a four-day event here,) and we appreciate the art of the nap. I am so different than everyone else I’ve met. It’s my Midwestern charm, methinks.

Thank you for showing me my first love. It didn’t work out and it’s not pretty now, but you showed me so much of who I was for a quarter of my life. I was with a Wisconsin man. I won’t end up with that one, but who knows, Midwestern boys have a certain something about them that I like.

Thanks for well-preserving my parents. The cold must make them age a little slower. Keep that up. I want them to be around for as long as I am, and though I know that’s not possible, let’s just close our eyes and pretend for a minute.

Buh-bye, childhood. This is my adult turning point. This is the moment I’ll look back on and say, “I think the first time I really felt like I was on my own was when I moved to Denver that August.”

Goodbye, scraped knees and long nights studying and ‘I-hope-he-asks-me-to-the-dance”s. Hello, scraped egos and long nights dancing and ‘I-hope-he-actually-took-my-number”s. Let’s see the next 24 years. I think I can handle it.

Regards, Alison

You are the worst. You are tedious, you are frustrating, you make me want to tear out my already fragile hair.

Oh, Space Saver bags? You’re great (in theory.) I like when you work, extra-large cube bag. As for you, large cube bag…you have about thirty holes. Duct tape is not working with your clear, shitty exterior, and you make me want to cry a little. Where’s your receipt? Oh, the trash? Neat.

How is it that I can’t find all the things I know I’m going to want when I go? Those stupid bags, shoes, and other girltastic items that have been in my closet for years and now I decide I need…why? Why am I such a girl in this sense? Though I’m thrilled I bailed on two more bags for Goodwill to add to the three I gave last year at this time, I still have so. much. useless. shit.

Also, Ke$ha, you are NOT assisting. Your pump-up music is taking me immediately back to my birthday party. Except I don’t have a cute dress on and a gin & tonic in my hand. I have a sweaty t-shirt and Yoga for Beginners and the Quick Guide to Wine being jammed into a box. Yet here I sit, bobbing my head to Blow and laughing at how this place is in fact, about to blow. With clothing, books, shoes, and photos.

Hurricane Irene has somehow made it to my parent’s house, second floor, room on the end. Because hurricanes in Wisconsin make sense.

Packing, you are the worst. The bane of my existence. The thought of doing this just to undo it in two days brings literal tears to my eyes. And I’ll be unloading all of my stuff into an empty house with zero storage space. Good thing I’ve got these Space Saver bags. I might crawl on in and vacuum the air out, check out of life for a while. See what you do to me, packing? Actual maniacal thoughts. Great.

If you need me, I’ll either be rocking back and forth in the corner, dancing like it’s 11:30 and my friends wanna leave the club, or eating in a panic from fear of losing energy to continue said rocking and dancing.

Yours,

Alison

• I cannot go a day without listening to bluegrass.
• I most likely will listen to one terrible pop song a day.
• I can’t wait for Brandon to get here so we can get to Denver.
• I do not brush my hair until I find a knot that’s so obnoxious that I have to.
• I am not that good at outdoor climbing, I learned this week.
• I like braids in my hair. A lot.
• I will never stop running. And if I do, you can reference this list.
• I hope that the students I’ve mentored still look up to me.
• I do not know where I will be at this time next year.
• I really like cherry tomatoes.
• I want to learn how to garden really well. Preferably off of Brandon’s porch.
• I have a full and occupied heart for the first time in a long time. It’s nice.
• I have got to pick up a guitar again.
• I don’t fully understand my job, but I start next Friday.
• I like not knowing. In every sense of the term.

Katie and I kicked serious ass. Running around a 10:30/mile average, we were thrilled when we found out we finished in the top 40% of runners. As first time runners, HELL YEAH, we did it!

Starting 11 weeks ago, I was in a serious rut. I didn’t think I had a chance of being able to run! No way. No way could I run 3 miles, much less 13.1. (And yes, that .1 made a world of difference, let me tell ya.)

The training schedule was hard. It meant working out…a lot. It meant waking up and giving my time to the sunrise. As a newly single girl who would have preferred to wallow in sleep and sadness, this was not my cup of tea.

I want to make this a large, large thank you. THANK YOU to Molly and Steph. I would NOT have completed strength training without you, thus I would not have completed my half. You two were the best workout partners ever. We did “killer workout” Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 7:00 a.m.. Killer workout is 100 jumping jacks, 90 crunches, 80 squats, 70 leg lifts, 60 jumping jacks, 50 crunches, 40 squats, 30 leg lifts, 20 jumping jacks and 10 pushups. Let me tell you two things: it’s damn hard, and those 10 pushups are the last thing you want to do when you finish exhausting all other muscles and have absolutely zero upper arm strength. But they were my first two physical motivators. They told me I could do it, I believed them, and bam. We did it. We all benefited, and I’m so glad.

Thank you to Kerri! She made our fabulous training schedule (pictured above.) As an accomplished half/marathon runner herself, we trusted her with the decisions. As a fellow vegetarian, she kept on us about what we needed to be eating, and I’m so grateful for her! Ker and I got coffee this morning and she laughed when she said “I know you’re a half marathon runner for life now.” She’s right. Yesterday, I swore up and down I’d never do another. Today…different story

Thank you to Michael, Rachel, Charlie and Brandon. You four seemed to genuinely care about my running. You asked me how my runs went and legitimately listened. All four of you gave me sound advice when I asked for it (and when I didn’t,) and I’m so grateful that you all listened to me complain about the working out/dieting/muscle pain/”I don’t wanna”‘s. You four kept me on track, so thank you

Now, the most important. Katie, you inspire me still. My best friend since third grade, I have watched you struggle through diets and workouts and things that just never seemed to work. When I saw you at Christmas, you took my breath away. You were happy and healthy and you made me want to change my ways. We still fight over who pushed the race, but really it was both of us. We did it. We actually finished a HALF. MARATHON.

For two ex-food addicts, I’d say we did pretty effing well. Your food habits are admirable and you make me want to keep doing this forever, because even though it was hell, it was a hell that I could not imagine living without or doing without you by my side. You are the best friend ever, you make me want to be a healthy human, and I loved eating absolutely terribly with you post-race. I LOVE YOU!

So, what’s next for me and racing? I’d like to do a 5k when I get to Denver and then I’ll think about training for (gasp!) another half in the late spring. It’s just a great way to stay in shape, meet new people and have a say in what I put into my body and how I expel the energy. I’m thrilled to say that I am a half marathon finisher: two hours and 21 minutes I’ll never get back covered in sweat. One broken iPod, a twisted ankle and slight dehydration will not change that for me.

If you’re interested in doing a half marathon and are looking for tips as a beginner, I’m super into answering any questions I can. Don’t be afraid to ask If I can do it, anyone can. Literally.